Birthday Breakfast prepared by Bonny when I turned 45

Most of my birthdays celebrated with Bonny have been precious and wonderful. Though he is no longer on earth to celebrate my birthday today, I felt very loved with many blessings and wishes from loved ones--family and friends. As I read through my journal, I was surprised to find what I wrote in my journal on my 45th birthday (I think it was the only birthday I recorded in my journal): "My 45th birthday began with a wonderful, love-filled breakfast prepared by my beloved one & only one of his kind husband, Bonny-Wilfred Gilfillan Khalil.
It was a small steak, potato chips, sausage, ham, brocolli, carrot, tomato and cucumber. Also a side dish of 3 layers of love: minced beef, mashed potatoes and chopped carrot and water chestnut topped with scrambled egg white. The set came with a glass of apple juice. It was a wonderful breakfast filled with love, joy, peace and blessings from above."
He was so proud of his creative breakfast especially the side-dish that he insisted that a picture was taken of his set of "love-breakfast" for the queen and that the queen must take a picture with it too.
Yes, that was six year ago, but the memory and the love from this beloved husband of mine still lives in my heart.

Remembering My Beloved Bonny on our 15th Anniversary

Today marks the 15th Anniversary of my union with my beloved Bonny. Though we are apart, this is still a special day for me. I thank the Lord for these years of enriching and blessing my life with this special gift in the person of such a wonderful man.
A week ago, Bonny's mobile calendar gave out a notification alert which I believe he set up in 2004 with yearly notification set a week before Dec 16 of every year reminding him of our anniversary. The reminder reads "9th Anniversary, Botanic Garden, 0900-1200." Since we have our car in 2003, we had been going to Botanic Garden and had our breakfast at the cafeteria at the Visitors' Centre on our anniversary. This morning, despite a heavy traffic jam, I managed to make it there.
I ordered a western set, the one that Bonny always ordered, and enjoying my breakfasting remembering how he taught me to eat a western breakfast in an English-Scottish way (at least that was what he claimed as the proper way to eat English breakfast).
He would take his time to cut his toast, fried egg, bacon and sausage into bite-size and then stacked them up like a mini-sandwish with his fork and knife before putting them into his mouth with his fork and enjoyed chewing it with such gusto. Then he would repeat the whole procedure untill his plate is empty:-). He has taught me well. I finished everything on my plate and givethanks to God for blessing me with such rich expereince with such rich man.

Bonny's Boris knows how to cheer me up

It was a challenge for me to enter December without Bonny being around. The weather on the 30th Nov and the first few days of December did not help much as rainy days brought vivid memories of Bonny's warm smiles and hugs. After a day of sadness on Dec 1st, I woke up the next morning to see Boris started to eat properly and swim cheerfully. He kind of knew that I needed some cheering up and began to eat and swim after two months of sickness. This is one of the many reminders that I am so loved :-)

Though missing Bonny very much and can hardly believe that he has left for 10 months now, my soul takes courage, comfort and joy knowing he is enjoying the Lord's presence in the heavenly dwelling where every moment is Christmas. It is not a time for me to dwell on what I have not but to give thanks for what I have. It is a time for me to live out the legacy of love and generousity left behind by my beloved husband, the one and only Bonny.

Bonny's Precious Flowerhorn Fish "BORIS" Is Sick

Bonny brought this flowerhorn fish (Luo Han) home more than two years ago when he was just about 4-5 inches long. He looked so ugly that Bonny named him "Boris" after the actor Boris Karloff who acted as the Frankenstein's monster. He has since grown to slightly more than 1 ft now. Since Bonny left for Heaven 9 months ago, I have been taking care of him with a couple other fishes. For the past three weeks, Boris has been sick attacked by parasitic organisms. It has been a couple of worrisome weeks for me seeing the once so active Boris to be so lethargic, not eating and at one stage even lying horizontally. Thanks to prayers for some saints and God-led adviser, he is doing better now but still not completely well.
Boris used to be very playful when he was well and I trust that he will be as playful and active again when he is completely well. Boris is precious to me not only because he was Bonny's pet, but his playful character reminds me of Bonny too. I must say that only that playful personality reminds me of Bonny and not his look though, Boris is far too "not-good-looking" to bear any resemblance of my gorgeous Bonny. If there is any resemblance, it is only the size---hugh and strong:-) I am glad that Heaven is not only a beautiful place, I am sure it is also a fun place where Bonny is having lots of fun too, fun that is much greater than what we experience here on earth. Can't wait to join him and Jesus in that heavenly fun and joy when my time on earth is done.

An Outline of One of Bonny's Sermons for Wake/Funeral Services

When Bonny was on earth, he conducted many wake and funeral services while serving as a pastor at Community of Praise Baptist Church. Last week I conducted a wake service for a church member using one of Bonny's scripts.
Here is one of Bonny's sermon outlines which I found in one of his notebooks. He knew there was a time for everything. Quoting Ecclesiastes 3:2 He said there was "a time to be born and a time ot die, a time to plant and a time to uproot." He also knew the certainty of death, Heb. 9:27, "Just as man is destined to die once,...." His certainty was reflected by a statement he often made in the wake/funeral services he conducted, "Death is no respector of any man or woman or child." To the question "What happens to us when we die?", he was very sure that the temporal bodies, the perishable will be clothed with the imperishable and the mortal with immortality 1 Cor 15:50-55.
It has been 8 months now since he has been clothed with the imperishable and is experiencing eternal joy and immortality. Though there is not time frame in Heaven, he is remembered every minute, every hour, every day, every week and month here on earth because he has left a tremendous legacy in my life. To God be the glory!

What I did that was an annoying behavior to Bonny?

More than ten years ago in the late 90’s, Bonny and I attended a marriage enrichment course called “His Needs, Her Needs.” Each of us had a workbook “5 Steps to Romantic Love” where we worked through overcoming love busters and learning to meet each other’s needs. Recently I came across Bonny’s workbook while I was tidying our library and had a good time reading through some of his answers and recalled the good times that we had. His sense of humor lingers on in my memory and what he wrote made me laugh just like when he was with me.
Referring to the annoying behavior I had toward him, he wrote, “Her annoying behavior toward me is when she tells me not to eat too much or not to eat fatty food.” In answering to the question as to why this has caused him unhappiness, he wrote, “when she shows her displeasure of my eating habits and I have to sneak behind her back to eat—a few times.” He added further that “it was because of her concern for my ulcerative colitis and I know that she is right but I still feel annoyed when she tells me.” On the frequency and intensity of my annoying behavior, he wrote, “It increased since the first year of marriage but now it has gotten lesser and better primarily because I am working with her on my eating habits.”
He was such a precious and wonderul man, a man full of humor and love, childlikeness and contentment. I am sure there is more laughters in heaven now that he is there. He does not need to control his eating habit too:-). Can't wait to see his smiling face again when my assignment here on earth is done.

Our Last Holiday Together: Royal Caribbean Isles of South East Asia Cruise, 30 Nov-4 Dec 2009

This is the picture taken on the ship "Legend of The Seas" on 1st Dec. 2009, 7.09 pm. It was a trip he was looking forward to. Sea was his favourite landscape. He used to travel a lot on sea when he was young while working as a radio operator in cargo ships. He had once told me that he might consider sailing again when he was old and didn't have a job. When I asked him what would I do if he had gone sailing, he just smiled.
When I scattered his ashes into the sea on the day of his burial, there was a strange sense of peace and joy then as I could feel that his spirit and soul was very pleased. As I watched the ashes dancing in the wind before landed into the sea, I sensed the freedom he felt. I knew then that he was smiling in heaven as his ashes went sailing. The sea is his burial ground and the sea now holds a new meaning to me.
6 months have passed since he left for heaven, I know that he is still smiling today because he knows God is taking care of me and He calls me His beloved.

Heaven--A Place of God's Love

Since Bonny left for Heaven five months ago, much of my thoughts have been "What exactly is heaven like?" I know with absolute certainty that it is a beautiful place as described in the Bible, but somehow I wanted to know what exactly does a person experience when he/she is there...the truth is I really want to know what Bonny is experiencing now for I miss him dearly. Then, sometime ago, a friend sent me an article written by a pastor named Dean Braxton about his experience in heaven. An extract from his article says: "Everything about Him (Jesus) is love, yes love for you, and it seems like it is only love for you. Yet you know in yourself that he loves all, but the love for you is so personal, it seems like it is only for you. You know He has cared for you for so long, and you do not want to leave that caring for you."

Then I began to read about various reports from those who have had an experience in heaven. Among many descriptions like colours and lights, etc., what is common in most report is as described by Ps Dean Braxton: "Love--God's love!" I believe in these reports as the Bibles clearly states that God is Love (1 John 4:16). I am so blessed to know that my love who has departed from me is enjoying the abundant completely pure love of God now! I am sure his skill in blowing the shofar is perfect now. I can't wait to join him when God's assignment for me on earth is done! Indeed, "for to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain (Phil. 1:21)!

Eagles--His Favourite Collection

Wilfred (Bonny) loved to collect. Some of his collections include eagles, horses, rings, stones, teddy bears, watches, clocks, boxes, eggs and ships.

Eagles are his favourite.

Eagles symbolize Strength and Freedom!

The Bible says in Isaiah 40:31

"Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary."

Someone describes eagles this way:
“Eagles: When they walk, they stumble. They are not what one would call graceful. They were not designed to walk. They fly. And when they fly, oh, how they fly, so free, so graceful. They see from the sky what we never see”
This describes my beloved late husband: strong and free!

He is now strong and free in the embrace of Jesus:-)
His ealges collection at home is a strong reminder for me to be strong and free as well!

Worship with spontaneous songs: Bonny's favourite pastime

Bonny's favourite pastime while he was on earth was to worship the Lord with spontaneous songs. Whenever he was free, he would pick up his guitar and worship the Lord with songs that were composed there and then. Many times, tears would roll down his cheeks as he worshipped and the presence of God was so strong that one could feel that the climate of heaven had decended. I know for sure that now he is so happy as he can enjoy his earthly pastime forever without interuptions in heaven--simply worshipping the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords in His very presence.

Here are some of his spontaneous songs composed and sang on 27 November 2009.... Please turn off the "In Christ Alone" Song in the right column so that you can hear the songs.

A Man Named Jesus (with harmonica)

Reach Out Your Hand To Someone Who Needs You

I Don't Know What To Do

Abba Father

Be With Me, I'll Always Love You

Wilfred Khalil Memorial Offering

In memory for Ps Wilfred Khalil, the leadership of Community of Praise Baptist Church Singapore is giving family and friends the opportunity to give an offering/donation to a special project that is close to his heart. This project is undertaken by the DaySpring under HighPoint Community Services Association. It is a new venture to set up a Residential Therapeutic Treatment Centre for troubled teen girls and it has received support from Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports. It is now in the early stages of fund raising for a planned launch in October of this year. Before Wilfred (Bonny) passed away, he had mentioned his desire to help fathering these teen girls if he had the opportunity. You can find more information about this project in http://www.dayspring.com.sg/rtc.php.
To give to this memorial offering, you may write a cheque payable to "Highpoint Community Services Association - DaySpring" and send it to Blk 18 Boon Lay Way #04-127 TradeHub 21 Singapore 609966. You may write at the reverse side of the check "In memory of Wilfred Khalil."
To enjoy double tax relief in Singapore and to receive a tax receipt, please provide the following with your donation:NRIC Name, NRIC Number, Your Contact Number, Mailing Address.

Eulogies Delivered By Friends

After celebrating Christmas with my family last year (25 Dec 2009), Bonny was not very happy when he saw that I had more presents than him. It was becasue I had birthday presents on top of Christmas presents since my birthday was on 21 Dec. He turned to me and told me that he would like to have a birthday party this year so that he could receive lots of presents. Today is his birthday but he is now in heaven rejoicing and celebrating life all the time and have all the presents that he had ever wanted. Though he is no here on this earth, I would like to put together these eulogies in rememberance of him and the joy he had brought to us all.

The Eulogies are in the form of two videos taken at the Eulogies Farewell Service on 8 February and a compilation of written eulogies sent to me via emails and cards. May we thank God for blessing us with such a man as my husband, Wilfred (Bonny) Khalil. Love, Kim Lang

Please turn off the "In Christ Alone" Song in the right column so that you can hear the videos.



Eulogies written by Friends:
"We have fond memories of Bonny “a Big guy with a Big heart”. I have learnt many things about life and pastoral ministries just being around him. His boldness in standing for his convictions was something I wanted to emulate but could not do myself many times. He excelled in relating with and shepherding the sheep entrusted into his hands and always went the extra mile for them. “Well done good and faithful servant” is the words he must have heard from his master, Jesus, as they met each other. We will miss him."
Timothy Das

"Ps Wilfred, thanks for being a big daddy to me ever since I was small. I always love to see your smile, see you strumming on the guitar or banging on the drums or to hear you singing a random song. You never fail to bring a smile to my face. :) One thing I really miss since you've gone, is your big bear hug. Thanks for everything and see you when I get there."
Love, Natasha Lai =) "

"Ps.Wilfred has been a blessing to many of us here in TCA college through his friendship and just his presence that always gave us laughter and fun. His passion for learning and ministry has also inspired us. We missed him much here in our classes and college."
Treasuring the fond memories of him, Seng Yan & Clarice

"Dear Kim Lang, You had a "good man" as your husband. I don't say this of many people even those in the ministry. He was a sincere man. In Selarang I met many, but I was touched by his sincerity and his "softness" toward the Lord and the things of the Lord, even in the mist of his struggle during those times. I always find him humble and very teachable in Selarang and that really impressed me and encouraged me. So we had a connection. (I am still crying as I write this - had to dry my tears to see the screen). I will miss him. More so you would!"
Robert and Sylvia Yeo

"Dear Ps Bonny (Wilfred), You are a good shepherd, a good leader and a good servant. You loved to challenge us each time wherever and whenever we meet you either at the mission field or at church, and you were always so smart to win us over, you are the winner! Now you even finished the race b4 all of us. Therefore, well done, Ps Wilfred!"
Ps Steven Michael Nicaud, Ps Ed Pousson, Carmen, Ezekiel, Hui Ting and Eileen (Aceh Team)

"When I first visited CPBC, I was touched by the testimony he shared during the HighPoint Sunday. You can say, that he was one of the reasons that made me embrace CPBC as our home church. When I subsequently had the opportunity to work with him in HighPoint, there was always that good natured humour that made boring occasions interesting. Yet, I knew that he was struggling but he managed to keep a strong front for the sake of others. He is a friend I will miss."
Harry Loh

"Bonny had incredible ability to remember people…. I’ve never known another person with such a memory for faces. I think it’s because he saw and remembered people with his heart and not his eyes alone.
He loved the Lord with childlike abandon, didn’t he. How many times have we heard wild drum beats coming from the NETS hall at the old office or strumming suddenly arising from his cubicle! And we’d grin at one another and say, “Alamak, this Wilfred ah!”
There are certain qualities about him that supersedes the best of pastors. And for these qualities so many people of so many nationalities came up to say how much they loved Bonny. He was a unique individual."
Regina Joy

"Pastor Wilfred gave of himself most generously—always buying charity products from the church stall (I’m sure there are many keys chains in your home!) and bringing his great sense of humour and love of practical jokes into our conversations. At a particular difficult time in our family, he showed us great understanding and support and again his generosity of spirit shone through. Ashley has reminded us that it was Pastor Wilfred who alongside Ps Guna baptized her so he was also there at one of the happiest times in our family. We will always remember him."
The Hewitt Family—Robert, Jenny, Christine, James & Ashley

"Pastor Bonny was very special to me I want you to know that. As a man of prayer and intercession, real prayer and yearning for and knowing God's heart and not "going through motions and trying to impress" like many others, I know of hardly any other. I got to know him well during the period when volunteers were asked to pray as a group whilst the service was ongoing, and I was one of the few who did. Very shortly, only a few were regular, and as we were a small group, it soon became more personal and intimate. We then started to also pray for each other and that's when I found out about Pastor Bonny's condition [when it flared up and made his movements difficult and painful and he asked me to keep him in prayer re medical tests and healing].
Despite this, it NEVER affected nor "got in the way" of his prayer life and focus. He did tell me, when we used to chat, that he wished that "when it was time to go" God will take him quickly. He did say that it could "happen anytime" and that God's time was His choice but before that, he will continue diligently in His work. He was also absolutely assured in faith that God will not take him until he was personally assured that his LORD will "look after Kim Lang". God loved him as much as He loves you and will never do anything to your/our detriment.
Pastor Bonny, usually would sidle up to me and/my family when I/we went up to the front for prayer. He would give me his "broad and knowing" smile first, rub his palms together, before asking for my prayer requests. He prayed for and over me for many things. He was the one who prayed over Joshua's hearing deficiency and he was healed very soon after. I am so so thankful to God for Pastor Bonny's influence in my life, particularly my prayer life.
Couple of times we met for lunch during the weekday where he encouraged me in my own prayer life and general chit chat. While he rarely gave the message in church, I used to yearn to hear him speak. Whilst his content and delivery was unlike other pastors, he always spoke with sincerity from his heart and from God's heart to us. He was measured in his delivery and did not have the oratory style of others, but his substance was never ever in any shortfall whatsoever. I could go on and on but words will never express how special and dear he was to me and I cannot imagine, how much much more he must have been to you. You will miss him and he was a one-off special person."
Samuel Panthradil

"I stepped into CPBC for the first time that day in 1995 & it was a wedding - the wedding of Bonny & Kim Lang. As the solemnization ended & the guests were ushered towards the reception, I was slowly making my way down the stairs to join them. I felt like a stranger as I didn't know anyone from this church as it was my first time there. Before I knew it, the bride & groom saw me coming down the stairs & walked towards me with beaming smiles radiating. They starting talking to me & enquired so much about me, just minutes right after their solemnized wedding!!! Shaking my hands, they welcomed me not only to their wedding but to CPBC as well. I was shell shocked & didn't know how to react or respond, overwhelmed by their sincerity…. Just before they were asked to grace the reception, Bonny came forward & gave me THE hug. You can go anywhere on the face of this planet & you can never find a hug as caring & loving, as affirmative & accepting as Bonny's hug & for those who've experienced it, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. They exemplified to me that day, on their wedding day, what a Christian is like by accepting me, affirming me & acknowledging me. I told myself that day that if this is what a Christian is like, then I want to be a Christian like that!
Later, Bonny & I started a brotherly relationship when I was assigned to help set up musical instrument at West Coast recreation center where CPBC used to worship. The first thing Bonny would do was to lead me to kneel down on the carpeted stage floor to pray & that man really prays! Praising, shouting, worshipping, singing (in tongues too) he prays. At first I thought, "Oh my God, what have I got myself into?" But slowly over the next few weeks, it rubbed on me & influenced me & soon, I was starting to 'pray' like Bonny. He was my hero. After the powerful prayer time, we would start the setting up & Bonny will start his 'sermons'. I was his 1 man audience. With tenacity & conviction, Bonny will share with me about the Bible & I started to grow in the knowledge & grace of God. Whatever I learn from Bonny, be it the way I pray or stories & applications from the Bible, I will exhibit it in Highpoint & to the many Christian meetings, retreats & services. Many have marveled & wondered at my maturity & knowledge in the very short span of time & today I would like to credit that to my mentor Bonny Khalil, who guided me in my formative budding Christianhood…. God used him to impact me, influence me & infuse me with a fiery passion for Jesus!
Bonny used to quote to me one of his favorite verse while we do our setting-up & it was Philippians 3:10 which says, "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death". With clenched fists he would tell me, Daniel, wow, I want to experience the power of his resurrection & I want to share in his sufferings. Well, Bonny had his fair share of sufferings. Now, he gets to experience the power of HIS resurrection! Hallelujah!"
Daniel Kumar

Heaven--Glimpses of Glory

"Death can hold no bitterness for the soul that loves.... There is no sadness in the thought of death when it opens the door to all joy. Nor can it be painful and oppressive when it is the end of all unhappiness and sorrow and the beginning of all good."
~~ John of The Cross~~

In Loving Memory of Wilfrred (Bonny) Khalil

Please turn off the "In Christ Alone" music in the right column first before playing this video.

In Loving Memory of Wilfred (Bonny) Khalil from Kim Lang Khalil on Vimeo.

A tribute to my beloved sweetheart, Bonny

What can I say about my Bonny (Wilfred) the man of God, the greatest blessing the Lord has blessed me on earth, the man that I deeply deeply love. My Bonny…

A man with a simple and pure heart! A man filled with love! A man full of fun and humor! A man with a mighty warring intercessory sprit!

He was a man with a simple and pure heart! When I first knew him, I was attracted to his simple and pure heart. When I needed a word to confirm that he was the man the Lord had chosen for me, the word 2 Tim. 2:22b was given to me “along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” His simplicity and purity of heart has taught me to see people and things in such simple and pure perspective. He never have any evil intention in his heart towards anyone for his pure heart cannot contain any evil thoughts, so he dare to speak what is in his heart and be very straight forward with people. Whenever I felt sad or had made mistakes or had hurt him, he forgave me so easily and quickly. With his big bright grin, he would open his strong big and warm arms and said to me “Come here, my sweetheart!” and hold me with his unforgettable strong and warm embrace melting away all the woes in my heart.

He was a man filled with love! His love for me overwhelmed me. I am so loved by him and I often told him, “You are the greatest blessing in my life and you are the tangible manifestation of God’s love to me.” With his loving tender voice and that unforgettable cheeky smile, he would sing to me: “If you think I’ve love you all I can, I’m going to love you a little bit more!” We often asked each other, “Have I told you enough that `I love you’” and if the answer is negative, we would express our love to each other again until the answer is “Enough!” His love overflowed from his heart not only to me and our families, it overflowed to our church and neighborhood. He could be voted as the friendliest neighbor and seemed to know everyone around him from hawker center to car park to the walkway. People, from young to old, just love him because he first extended his love to them.

He was a man full of fun and humor! He brought immeasurable joy, laughter and fun to my life. He taught me to laugh and to have fun. I never have a day with him that is without laughter even on that day that he upset me. He just has the gift of making things so simple and so fun and making people around feel so at ease, comfortable and joyful! If I were to write all the fun and humor that he has brought to this life, this page will not be able to contain it.

He was a man with a mighty warring intercessory spirit! Many who ministered along with or by him know this and I need not say anymore. For this battle against his illness, I know deep in my heart that he would have fought it with all his might if he knew it is the will of God for him to live. I believe in the last one day of his life, the Lord has revealed to him that He can grant him more days on earth but it would be a battle of health and it is His will to take him home to spare him of pain and evil. Bonny has chosen not to war against God. He always told me, “In spiritual battle, you must know who you enemy is and who are you warring against.” He knew that this is God’s perfect plan, to spare him and me of further pain, so he submitted.

Bonny and I have lived a life together with a principle that we would love each other every day as if it was the last we would be together. We would give each other a hug as if it was the last, a kiss as if it was the last, and a “I love you” as if it was the last. We did all that before he was too ill to hug, to kiss and to express. I can say with all my heart, “Bonny, I know that you love me and you have expressed it all. You are the greatest blessing in my life. Words cannot express how thankful I am that the Lord has chosen me to be the love of your life. You have brought so much love and joy to me that I never knew one can ever experience on this earth! You know that I love you so dearly and how I will miss you terribly but you also know that you can go in peace and with joy because He who has brought me to you will comfort, sustain and strengthen me. My Bonny, my dearest sweetheart, thank you for loving me, thank you for teaching me. You are a great husband, you are a great man of God….”

I am truly blessed to be loved and taught by such a man!

Kim Lang

Tributes by the Family

Click on pictures to enlarge.

Funeral message for my beloved husband, Bonny (Wilfred) Khalil, on 9th February 2010, 1.45 pm at Mandai Crematorium Hall 1.

With love by Kim Lang Khalil

My Khalil family, my Pang family and I really appreciate your presence with us this afternoon in sending off the blessed body of my beloved husband, Wilfred Gilfillan Khalil, also affectionately known by many as BONNY. When my dearest husband, Bonny, was alive, he had told me in many occasions and, I believe he had told some of you too, that he would like to conduct his own funeral service by making a video of himself. And if he were to go before me, I would play that video at his funeral service.

He did not manage to have that video done. So instead, I have decided to fulfil his wish by conducting his funeral service for him and by preaching his funeral message. Though Bonny had told me that he would make that video one day, he did not tell me the content of his sermon (I don’t think he had all the content worked out yet). However, he did tell me how he would introduce his sermon. He would begin his sermon this way:
“Hi everyone! Yes, it is me, Bonny or Wilfred (whichever name you know me as). You see that body lying there (in the casket)? That is my physical body which is now just a shell. Do you know where I am now? I am in heaven!”

Yes, Bonny is now in heaven, either he is resting in the embrace of the Lord or exploring that beautiful place where there are so many precious stones (the material love of his life), or busy catching up with those who have gone before him like his loved ones in the family, the late Alice Heng, Winnie Tan, Uncle Victor Choy, Mr Wee, Eric Lee, Robert Yeo of Helping Hand and many others. I know that Bonny meant a lot to many of you. I regret not extending the time last night at the wake for more of you to share your eulogies. If you do have one that you have prepared but did not have a chance to share, please feel free to share it with me later in person or simply write it down and email or simply pass it to me. I will not share my eulogy as it has been written and given out last night as my tribute to him. Thanks to Yoo Ngee, the sister who did the design of the bulletin. If you would like to get a copy of the bulletin, you may get it from her. That copy of the tribute is free of charge. If you don’t know why some of the people here are laughing now, it was because late husband spoke last night at his Farewell Service and we joked that CD with his voice was on sale for $25! It was a CD of his old sermon.

After last night’s service, one of my sisters-in-law said, “Wow, we didn’t know we had a superstar living among us!”
Yes, indeed the Lord has blessed us with a superstar—the superstar, Bonny Khalil! I can imagine as I say this, if he either has a guitar in his hands or he’s sitting behind the drum as he often did wherever he had a chance in our Language or Youth Hall, he will be making an applauding sound! If he does not have any instrument with him, he will be amen-ing to what I said, “Amen! Amen! Preach on my love, preach on, Kim Lang!”

I am not sure Bonny knew what a great legacy he left behind. From all the eulogies we heard for the past couple of nights, he has left behind…
... A legacy of joy in having a simple and pure heart...
... A legacy of love... that life is to be lived and that love is to be loved, every opportunity is an opportunity to love. Like one of the eulogies last night--he was like Jesus—always finding time to love and pray for people’!
... A legacy of fun and humour that brightened up, brought laughter and life to the people around him.
... A legacy of prayer—inspiring others to pray and being a mighty warring intercessor himself.

I am not going to share about his legacy. What I want to share with you is what happened in the past one week so that you may have some answers to the questions that you may have in regard to his return to his glorious home. So that we may find some comfort and closure to his apparently sudden departure. Most of you know that he had stopped work and intended to complete his theological studies since the end of September last year. Since January this year, he was attending school (TCA College) and had been working on his paper which was supposed to be due this very day, 09 February, 2010. He was working on the paper entitled ‘THE USE OF SIGNS IN THE GOSPEL OF JOHN’.

I quote from his unfinished paper: “The objective of this paper is to explore and explain why and how the author of the Fourth Gospel, namely John, used the signs that Jesus did in order to authenticate Jesus as the Son of God and that those who have faith in Jesus as the Son of God will have eternal life.” Though he did not finish his paper the way he or his lecturer had expected it to be, but I believe he has completed it and has made the due date. His life and his death had contributed to that truth that Jesus is the Son of God and that those who have faith in Jesus as the Son of God will have eternal life.

Let me share with you the last few days before he left us and entered into the glorious land:

Wednesday, 3th of February
Before he fell ill suddenly on Wednesday, 3th of February, He sent me an sms that morning at 10.51 am. He wrote in his last sms to me “Hi Kim Lang, I’m awake now and about to do my paper.” About an hour after that sms, I bought lunch home for him. When I returned, he told me that he could not eat much as his stomach was bloated and went to rest instead. To cut the long story short, he began to fall ill with severe pain in the stomach, fever and shortness in breath in the later part of the day. He refused to check into the A & E as he would be seeing his liver specialist, a senior consultant, the next morning.

Thursday, 4th of February
At about 6.30 am, he threw up some coffee-brown fluid. I brought him to hospital that morning. Subsequently, he was admitted on Thursday at noon. At that time, he was running a fever but blood pressure was normal. When his endoscopy failed due to his shortage of breath, he was placed in the High Dependency ward. I left him late that evening. His condition worsened after I left. At about 2.15 am in the early hours of Friday, due to low oxygen level in his body he was transferred from the High Dependency ward to ICU. I rushed back to hospital to be with him.

Friday, 5th of February
Family members and I were with him. At about 3 plus in the afternoon, I decided to fetch my mum home and to rest for a while since my brother and sister-in-law were with him and I would return at 6 pm to stay throughout the night. As I was forcing myself to rest at my mum’s home, it began to rain. There was lightning and thunder. I had a heavy heart. I asked the Lord, “Lord, you are not going to take him away, are you? Is Singapore crying because he is leaving us?” I refused to think in that direction but instead increased my intercession for healing. At about 4 plus, Richard, my brother-in-law, called me and asked me to return to the hospital as Bonny’s blood pressure had begun to drop steadily. I quickly got up and went to the restroom to change. As I was in the restroom, I felt a sharp pain in my heart, a deep sense of grief as if something was being torn from my heart. I began to bargain with the Lord, reminding Him that He was faithful and asking Him to keep my sweetheart alive-“If you won’t give him another 15 years, at least another year or another week or another day.” Looking back, I believe that was the moment Bonny’s spirit was saying “Goodbye” to me.

As I rushed through the traffic of Toa Payoh, the phone rang. With a trembling heart, I steadied my hands on the steeling wheel and answered. I heard Richard crying, telling me that Bonny had gone home to be with the Lord. I rushed into the ICU room at about 5.30pm. He had left me without waiting for me! I had a lot of questions but I accepted the truth that God does not make mistakes and He would give me answers sooner or later. Late in that night, actually more like early morning of Saturday (6 February), I spent time with the Lord, expressing my anger towards the incompetence of the hospital in treating my beloved.

The Lord ministered to me, and then He gave me a vision:
I saw Bonny lying on the hospital bed. Light rays were coming from the ceiling above and shining on him. With the light were silver sparkles and some silver stars flowing from above onto him. Then I saw his smiling face, with the same white hair above his forehead and the side, lifted from the top of his head towards the source of the light. His body following the head was a white shadow.

I asked the Lord to show me more, then:
I saw a river of gold, the water was not flowing but was thick like honey, golden in colour.
I thought it could be a river reflecting the glory of the Lord, but after I shared this on the first evening of the memorial service, someone suggested that it could be the street of gold in heaven that I saw. Be it river from the throne of God or street of gold, I knew for sure that it was heaven. God further revealed to me that He had shown a glimpse of Heaven to Bonny and said, “My son, it is time for you to come home. You can stay longer on earth if you want to, but it will be a battle with the illness and much suffering to you and family.”

The time for Bonny to leave this earth was God’s perfect timing. Bonny could have chosen to stay on but it would be a long battle of pain and suffering not only for him, but for me too. I believe Bonny chose to submit to the perfect timing of God. He did not give up on life but He give in to the perfect will of God.
I now know why he chose to go before I reached the hospital. It was because my voice and cry would have stopped him from leaving and he would have then been a disobedient child of God.
This was the answer to my question to God, “Why did You take him while I was on my way?” I am very proud of my late husband because he chose to submit and be obedient to God rather than to succumb to the selfishness of his wife.

Saturday, 6th of February
The next night, after a long day at Singapore Casket, I prepared myself to rest. The Lord comforted me again by reminding me of what Bonny had told me many times while he was on earth. I could clearly hear his voice that evening saying, “Kim Lang, I want you to know that if I am ever hooked to any machine that helps to sustain my life, I want you to turn the machine off as when it is time for me to go, let me go and don’t prolong my suffering.” I remembered walking into the hospital room that day and seeing him struggled with the restraints they were putting on him and the look of frustration he gave me. He hated being tied down. That reminder from the Lord comforted me and answered the question that I had…“Was Bonny ready to go?”

Sunday, 7th of February
Late on Sunday night, I had some difficulty sleeping and I asked the Lord why He chose that day to be the day of Bonny’s return to Heaven. As I pondered further, I put the date of his departure together 5-2-10 and the last digit was 520 (please do not buy 3 or 4 D with this number). That was the license plate of our first car and some nephews and nieces had told me in the past that in Chinese, it meant “I love you!” What a comfort to know that God loves me and it is not a mistake for Him to take my Bonny away. It is also comforting to know that God loves all of us who are grieving now and Bonny loved all of us too.

We are and will continue to feel the pain of missing him, especially me, my Khalil family and my Pang family. Things will never be the same again.
In my home:
· There will certainly be less laughter because he will not be there to make me laugh
· There will be no one to listen to my grumbles and woes
· I will not have that one-of-a-kind hug and embrace till I see him again in heaven
· I will not have the special someone to complain to, to scold, to nag, to hug and to love…
In my families:
· Family gatherings, Christmases, birthdays, outings and dinners will never be the same again without him
· No more funny jokes and actions
· No more child-like comments, naughty remarks and cheeky grins
In CPBC:
· In the main auditorium at the corner near the entrance, you won’t be greeted with that giant warm body and that handsome smile again
· No more big and friendly Wilfred walking around in the Guest lounge
· No more friendly big uncle playing pool at the youth lounge
· No more friendly greetings, hugs and waves at the driveway
In HighPoint:
· No more Ps Wilfred walking around asking for old wooden stuff from ‘karang guni’ collection, no more fish tanks
· No more big man carrying a red coca-cola can
· No more kung-fu actions
· No more stopping by to talk and chat and listen and make you laugh
In Choa Chu Kang neighbourhood:
· No more big friendly guy who greets anyone at the car park, walkway, lift and hawker centre
At Love Singapore Prayer Summits:
· That big friend guy will not be present at any more summits. He had never missed one since he attended the very first batch with the pioneers and it had been the annual highlights of his life since 1996.
At TCA College:
· Though he was not a permanent feature at the library (he could never stay still at one place), as some of you expressed to me, you would miss his light-hearted jokes and naughty remarks.

Many from Singapore, Belgium, Australia, United States, New Zealand, Switzerland, Canada, Germany, England, India, China, Malaysia who have sent me condolences will miss him. We will all miss him--his smiles, his jokes, his naughty remarks, his humour, his hugs, his encouragement, his prayers, his simplicity and above all, his love.

As Lai Kheng Pousson of Love Singapore Team rightly and beautifully puts it:
He will be fondly remembered as a man of child-like faith, joyful hope, and compassionate love, whose story of personal transformation and quiet confidence in the Lord is an inspiration to us all!

As painful as it is, I invite you to join me to release his soul and spirit into that glorious land, into the embrace of His heaven Father where he is resting and rejoicing.

As painful as it is, I invite you to join me:
· to release this wonderful big loving body that God has blessed him to bless us with to be cremated in a short while
· and to release his ashes to be scattered into the sea tomorrow morning.

As we release him, we can:
· keep the legacy of Bonny, Wilfred Gilfillan Khalil, in our hearts, on our lips that he may be cherished, honoured and remembered
· believe that the purpose of his last paper to authenticate Jesus as the Son of God, that all who believe in Him will have eternal life, be accomplished and fulfilled by his life here on earth.

Those who do not have faith and hope and believe in Jesus as the Son of God, I pray that you will consider doing so, so that one day you may be united with Bonny in heaven!