What I did that was an annoying behavior to Bonny?

More than ten years ago in the late 90’s, Bonny and I attended a marriage enrichment course called “His Needs, Her Needs.” Each of us had a workbook “5 Steps to Romantic Love” where we worked through overcoming love busters and learning to meet each other’s needs. Recently I came across Bonny’s workbook while I was tidying our library and had a good time reading through some of his answers and recalled the good times that we had. His sense of humor lingers on in my memory and what he wrote made me laugh just like when he was with me.
Referring to the annoying behavior I had toward him, he wrote, “Her annoying behavior toward me is when she tells me not to eat too much or not to eat fatty food.” In answering to the question as to why this has caused him unhappiness, he wrote, “when she shows her displeasure of my eating habits and I have to sneak behind her back to eat—a few times.” He added further that “it was because of her concern for my ulcerative colitis and I know that she is right but I still feel annoyed when she tells me.” On the frequency and intensity of my annoying behavior, he wrote, “It increased since the first year of marriage but now it has gotten lesser and better primarily because I am working with her on my eating habits.”
He was such a precious and wonderul man, a man full of humor and love, childlikeness and contentment. I am sure there is more laughters in heaven now that he is there. He does not need to control his eating habit too:-). Can't wait to see his smiling face again when my assignment here on earth is done.

Our Last Holiday Together: Royal Caribbean Isles of South East Asia Cruise, 30 Nov-4 Dec 2009

This is the picture taken on the ship "Legend of The Seas" on 1st Dec. 2009, 7.09 pm. It was a trip he was looking forward to. Sea was his favourite landscape. He used to travel a lot on sea when he was young while working as a radio operator in cargo ships. He had once told me that he might consider sailing again when he was old and didn't have a job. When I asked him what would I do if he had gone sailing, he just smiled.
When I scattered his ashes into the sea on the day of his burial, there was a strange sense of peace and joy then as I could feel that his spirit and soul was very pleased. As I watched the ashes dancing in the wind before landed into the sea, I sensed the freedom he felt. I knew then that he was smiling in heaven as his ashes went sailing. The sea is his burial ground and the sea now holds a new meaning to me.
6 months have passed since he left for heaven, I know that he is still smiling today because he knows God is taking care of me and He calls me His beloved.

Heaven--A Place of God's Love

Since Bonny left for Heaven five months ago, much of my thoughts have been "What exactly is heaven like?" I know with absolute certainty that it is a beautiful place as described in the Bible, but somehow I wanted to know what exactly does a person experience when he/she is there...the truth is I really want to know what Bonny is experiencing now for I miss him dearly. Then, sometime ago, a friend sent me an article written by a pastor named Dean Braxton about his experience in heaven. An extract from his article says: "Everything about Him (Jesus) is love, yes love for you, and it seems like it is only love for you. Yet you know in yourself that he loves all, but the love for you is so personal, it seems like it is only for you. You know He has cared for you for so long, and you do not want to leave that caring for you."

Then I began to read about various reports from those who have had an experience in heaven. Among many descriptions like colours and lights, etc., what is common in most report is as described by Ps Dean Braxton: "Love--God's love!" I believe in these reports as the Bibles clearly states that God is Love (1 John 4:16). I am so blessed to know that my love who has departed from me is enjoying the abundant completely pure love of God now! I am sure his skill in blowing the shofar is perfect now. I can't wait to join him when God's assignment for me on earth is done! Indeed, "for to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain (Phil. 1:21)!

Eagles--His Favourite Collection

Wilfred (Bonny) loved to collect. Some of his collections include eagles, horses, rings, stones, teddy bears, watches, clocks, boxes, eggs and ships.

Eagles are his favourite.

Eagles symbolize Strength and Freedom!

The Bible says in Isaiah 40:31

"Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary."

Someone describes eagles this way:
“Eagles: When they walk, they stumble. They are not what one would call graceful. They were not designed to walk. They fly. And when they fly, oh, how they fly, so free, so graceful. They see from the sky what we never see”
This describes my beloved late husband: strong and free!

He is now strong and free in the embrace of Jesus:-)
His ealges collection at home is a strong reminder for me to be strong and free as well!

Worship with spontaneous songs: Bonny's favourite pastime

Bonny's favourite pastime while he was on earth was to worship the Lord with spontaneous songs. Whenever he was free, he would pick up his guitar and worship the Lord with songs that were composed there and then. Many times, tears would roll down his cheeks as he worshipped and the presence of God was so strong that one could feel that the climate of heaven had decended. I know for sure that now he is so happy as he can enjoy his earthly pastime forever without interuptions in heaven--simply worshipping the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords in His very presence.

Here are some of his spontaneous songs composed and sang on 27 November 2009.... Please turn off the "In Christ Alone" Song in the right column so that you can hear the songs.

A Man Named Jesus (with harmonica)

Reach Out Your Hand To Someone Who Needs You

I Don't Know What To Do

Abba Father

Be With Me, I'll Always Love You

Wilfred Khalil Memorial Offering

In memory for Ps Wilfred Khalil, the leadership of Community of Praise Baptist Church Singapore is giving family and friends the opportunity to give an offering/donation to a special project that is close to his heart. This project is undertaken by the DaySpring under HighPoint Community Services Association. It is a new venture to set up a Residential Therapeutic Treatment Centre for troubled teen girls and it has received support from Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports. It is now in the early stages of fund raising for a planned launch in October of this year. Before Wilfred (Bonny) passed away, he had mentioned his desire to help fathering these teen girls if he had the opportunity. You can find more information about this project in http://www.dayspring.com.sg/rtc.php.
To give to this memorial offering, you may write a cheque payable to "Highpoint Community Services Association - DaySpring" and send it to Blk 18 Boon Lay Way #04-127 TradeHub 21 Singapore 609966. You may write at the reverse side of the check "In memory of Wilfred Khalil."
To enjoy double tax relief in Singapore and to receive a tax receipt, please provide the following with your donation:NRIC Name, NRIC Number, Your Contact Number, Mailing Address.

Eulogies Delivered By Friends

After celebrating Christmas with my family last year (25 Dec 2009), Bonny was not very happy when he saw that I had more presents than him. It was becasue I had birthday presents on top of Christmas presents since my birthday was on 21 Dec. He turned to me and told me that he would like to have a birthday party this year so that he could receive lots of presents. Today is his birthday but he is now in heaven rejoicing and celebrating life all the time and have all the presents that he had ever wanted. Though he is no here on this earth, I would like to put together these eulogies in rememberance of him and the joy he had brought to us all.

The Eulogies are in the form of two videos taken at the Eulogies Farewell Service on 8 February and a compilation of written eulogies sent to me via emails and cards. May we thank God for blessing us with such a man as my husband, Wilfred (Bonny) Khalil. Love, Kim Lang

Please turn off the "In Christ Alone" Song in the right column so that you can hear the videos.



Eulogies written by Friends:
"We have fond memories of Bonny “a Big guy with a Big heart”. I have learnt many things about life and pastoral ministries just being around him. His boldness in standing for his convictions was something I wanted to emulate but could not do myself many times. He excelled in relating with and shepherding the sheep entrusted into his hands and always went the extra mile for them. “Well done good and faithful servant” is the words he must have heard from his master, Jesus, as they met each other. We will miss him."
Timothy Das

"Ps Wilfred, thanks for being a big daddy to me ever since I was small. I always love to see your smile, see you strumming on the guitar or banging on the drums or to hear you singing a random song. You never fail to bring a smile to my face. :) One thing I really miss since you've gone, is your big bear hug. Thanks for everything and see you when I get there."
Love, Natasha Lai =) "

"Ps.Wilfred has been a blessing to many of us here in TCA college through his friendship and just his presence that always gave us laughter and fun. His passion for learning and ministry has also inspired us. We missed him much here in our classes and college."
Treasuring the fond memories of him, Seng Yan & Clarice

"Dear Kim Lang, You had a "good man" as your husband. I don't say this of many people even those in the ministry. He was a sincere man. In Selarang I met many, but I was touched by his sincerity and his "softness" toward the Lord and the things of the Lord, even in the mist of his struggle during those times. I always find him humble and very teachable in Selarang and that really impressed me and encouraged me. So we had a connection. (I am still crying as I write this - had to dry my tears to see the screen). I will miss him. More so you would!"
Robert and Sylvia Yeo

"Dear Ps Bonny (Wilfred), You are a good shepherd, a good leader and a good servant. You loved to challenge us each time wherever and whenever we meet you either at the mission field or at church, and you were always so smart to win us over, you are the winner! Now you even finished the race b4 all of us. Therefore, well done, Ps Wilfred!"
Ps Steven Michael Nicaud, Ps Ed Pousson, Carmen, Ezekiel, Hui Ting and Eileen (Aceh Team)

"When I first visited CPBC, I was touched by the testimony he shared during the HighPoint Sunday. You can say, that he was one of the reasons that made me embrace CPBC as our home church. When I subsequently had the opportunity to work with him in HighPoint, there was always that good natured humour that made boring occasions interesting. Yet, I knew that he was struggling but he managed to keep a strong front for the sake of others. He is a friend I will miss."
Harry Loh

"Bonny had incredible ability to remember people…. I’ve never known another person with such a memory for faces. I think it’s because he saw and remembered people with his heart and not his eyes alone.
He loved the Lord with childlike abandon, didn’t he. How many times have we heard wild drum beats coming from the NETS hall at the old office or strumming suddenly arising from his cubicle! And we’d grin at one another and say, “Alamak, this Wilfred ah!”
There are certain qualities about him that supersedes the best of pastors. And for these qualities so many people of so many nationalities came up to say how much they loved Bonny. He was a unique individual."
Regina Joy

"Pastor Wilfred gave of himself most generously—always buying charity products from the church stall (I’m sure there are many keys chains in your home!) and bringing his great sense of humour and love of practical jokes into our conversations. At a particular difficult time in our family, he showed us great understanding and support and again his generosity of spirit shone through. Ashley has reminded us that it was Pastor Wilfred who alongside Ps Guna baptized her so he was also there at one of the happiest times in our family. We will always remember him."
The Hewitt Family—Robert, Jenny, Christine, James & Ashley

"Pastor Bonny was very special to me I want you to know that. As a man of prayer and intercession, real prayer and yearning for and knowing God's heart and not "going through motions and trying to impress" like many others, I know of hardly any other. I got to know him well during the period when volunteers were asked to pray as a group whilst the service was ongoing, and I was one of the few who did. Very shortly, only a few were regular, and as we were a small group, it soon became more personal and intimate. We then started to also pray for each other and that's when I found out about Pastor Bonny's condition [when it flared up and made his movements difficult and painful and he asked me to keep him in prayer re medical tests and healing].
Despite this, it NEVER affected nor "got in the way" of his prayer life and focus. He did tell me, when we used to chat, that he wished that "when it was time to go" God will take him quickly. He did say that it could "happen anytime" and that God's time was His choice but before that, he will continue diligently in His work. He was also absolutely assured in faith that God will not take him until he was personally assured that his LORD will "look after Kim Lang". God loved him as much as He loves you and will never do anything to your/our detriment.
Pastor Bonny, usually would sidle up to me and/my family when I/we went up to the front for prayer. He would give me his "broad and knowing" smile first, rub his palms together, before asking for my prayer requests. He prayed for and over me for many things. He was the one who prayed over Joshua's hearing deficiency and he was healed very soon after. I am so so thankful to God for Pastor Bonny's influence in my life, particularly my prayer life.
Couple of times we met for lunch during the weekday where he encouraged me in my own prayer life and general chit chat. While he rarely gave the message in church, I used to yearn to hear him speak. Whilst his content and delivery was unlike other pastors, he always spoke with sincerity from his heart and from God's heart to us. He was measured in his delivery and did not have the oratory style of others, but his substance was never ever in any shortfall whatsoever. I could go on and on but words will never express how special and dear he was to me and I cannot imagine, how much much more he must have been to you. You will miss him and he was a one-off special person."
Samuel Panthradil

"I stepped into CPBC for the first time that day in 1995 & it was a wedding - the wedding of Bonny & Kim Lang. As the solemnization ended & the guests were ushered towards the reception, I was slowly making my way down the stairs to join them. I felt like a stranger as I didn't know anyone from this church as it was my first time there. Before I knew it, the bride & groom saw me coming down the stairs & walked towards me with beaming smiles radiating. They starting talking to me & enquired so much about me, just minutes right after their solemnized wedding!!! Shaking my hands, they welcomed me not only to their wedding but to CPBC as well. I was shell shocked & didn't know how to react or respond, overwhelmed by their sincerity…. Just before they were asked to grace the reception, Bonny came forward & gave me THE hug. You can go anywhere on the face of this planet & you can never find a hug as caring & loving, as affirmative & accepting as Bonny's hug & for those who've experienced it, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. They exemplified to me that day, on their wedding day, what a Christian is like by accepting me, affirming me & acknowledging me. I told myself that day that if this is what a Christian is like, then I want to be a Christian like that!
Later, Bonny & I started a brotherly relationship when I was assigned to help set up musical instrument at West Coast recreation center where CPBC used to worship. The first thing Bonny would do was to lead me to kneel down on the carpeted stage floor to pray & that man really prays! Praising, shouting, worshipping, singing (in tongues too) he prays. At first I thought, "Oh my God, what have I got myself into?" But slowly over the next few weeks, it rubbed on me & influenced me & soon, I was starting to 'pray' like Bonny. He was my hero. After the powerful prayer time, we would start the setting up & Bonny will start his 'sermons'. I was his 1 man audience. With tenacity & conviction, Bonny will share with me about the Bible & I started to grow in the knowledge & grace of God. Whatever I learn from Bonny, be it the way I pray or stories & applications from the Bible, I will exhibit it in Highpoint & to the many Christian meetings, retreats & services. Many have marveled & wondered at my maturity & knowledge in the very short span of time & today I would like to credit that to my mentor Bonny Khalil, who guided me in my formative budding Christianhood…. God used him to impact me, influence me & infuse me with a fiery passion for Jesus!
Bonny used to quote to me one of his favorite verse while we do our setting-up & it was Philippians 3:10 which says, "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death". With clenched fists he would tell me, Daniel, wow, I want to experience the power of his resurrection & I want to share in his sufferings. Well, Bonny had his fair share of sufferings. Now, he gets to experience the power of HIS resurrection! Hallelujah!"
Daniel Kumar