Two and a Half Year Have Gone by....

Two and a half years have gone by since Bonny left for a better and eternal place, a place where citizenship is permanent. As Singapore celebrates her 47th National Day in four days' time, this will be the first Singapore National Day that I celebrate as a citizen of the land. I have finally taken up the Singapore citizenship in June this year.

Before Bonny left and terminated his earthly citizenship here, his dream was for us to retire in Malaysia and that was the reason why he preferred me to keep my Malaysian citizenship. However, with his departure and Singapore lost a good son and intercessor two and a half year ago, I feel that it is time now for me to replace him and be a good daughter for this land till I join him in that eternal citizenship in Heaven.

Bonny’s "Praying Hands" Bookends

This July is my 3rd Singapore 40-Day Prayer and Fasting period without Bonny. It had always been a month Bonny looked forward to. He would share with me his progressive fasting and praying plan and let me kept him accountable to his plan.
Praying was not only what Bonny loved to do while on earth, he also loved to collect “Praying Hands”. Besides collar pins, ties, posters, wood carving displays, he has bookends too. These two are his “Praying Hands” bookends which I am using in my office now.

I suppose there is no need for fasting in Heaven where he is with Jesus, the Bridegroom. However, he must be doing a lot of worshiping and praying now.

The Top of Eurpore

Last week on 29th May, I made an attempt to reach the Summit of Mt Kinabalu at 4,095.2 m.  But due to time factor, I could only reach 3,554m.  I was disappointed as I wanted to take a picture with Bonny’s sport watch at the summit.  Noting the first attempt did not fulfil my dream, I am making plan to go again.  This trip, however, reminded me of my trip with Bonny to Jungfraujoch--the top of Europe at 3,571 m.  That was the trip we made to Europe in celebration of our 10^th anniversary.

Kent Ridge Park--our usual place of solitude

I took a few days off last week to have my personal retreat. Spent a morning at Kent Ridge Park, a place where Bonny and I used to go for a morning or an afternoon of personal reflection.

Bonny and I were first introduced to this place in mid-90’s when the pastoral staff of Community of Praise Baptist Church would come here for half–day prayer and reflection once a quarter. Since that, this not only becomes our favourite place to be quiet and do our reflection, it has also became the favourite place where Bonny would bring his cell leader interns under training to come for their half-day personal reflection and prayer. It is a cool and quiet place. The green tall trees, the sounds of the crickets, the butterflies that fly quietly pass you and the falling leaves make this an ideal place to be quiet, to listen, to pray and journal without much distraction. It may be hard for one to imagine Bonny being quiet and still for more than two hours, but he did and often came out refreshed. This place may not reflect the vibrant personality of Bonny but it does reflect the calming effect that his prayers often brought to my soul.

"To You"--One of Bonny's Favourite Worship Songs

One of Bonny's favourite worship song is "To You" by Darlene Zschech. He would play the song over and over again when we were on the road. The lyric of the song is "Here I stand, forever in Your mighty hand, living with Your promise written on my heart. I am Yours, surrendered wholly to You. You set me in Your family, calling me Your own. Now I, I belong to You. All I need, Your Spirit, Your Word, Your truth. Hear my cry, my deep desire, to know You more. In Your name I will lift my hands to the King. This anthem of praise I bring, heaven knows, I long to love You with all I am. I belong to You."
I know now he is forever in God's mightly hand, wholly surrendered to Him without distraction of the world, fully belonging to Him, deeply knowing Him and forever bringing the anthem of praise and loving Him with all he is. As Good Friday and Easter approach, it is most comforting to know that one day will come when I will join Bonny in singing the anthem of praise with lifted hands.

Remembering Bonny on His Birthday as I walked in Botanic Gardens

Today I spent several hours in Singapore Botanic Gardens remembering those times I spent with Bonny there. We often went there either to have our meals on special days or to walk and have our reflection time when we had extra off days. As I walked through the gardens today, I remembered how he often spotted some special flowers or leaves and pointed out to me the amazing features he discovered--like those amazing leaf veins patterns.
He often marvelled at all his new discoveries with such a child-like excitement and pride that made him such a real and authentic person. I could not count the number of times he made me laughed with joy and pride at his child-like remarks and perpectives on things. Bonny helped me understand what Jesus said in Matthew 18:3-4: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

Bonny’s 50th Birthday, 19 March 2006

19th March is Bonny’s birthday. This is a picture of his 50th birthday celebration at our home with the Khalil family.
When we first got married, he was not so used to celebrating birthday because he came from a family where celebrating birthday was not a family culture. However, I came from a family where birthday celebrations are very important. So over the years, birthday celebrations became part of his life especially his own birthday. He would remind me way ahead of time so that I had enough time to buy him the present he hinted to me. At first, he preferred just the two of us celebrating his birthday by going out for a nice meal and receiving his present. Then after he helped some ladies to organise a surprise birthday party for me in 2004, he had wished for a surprise birthday party for himself--a wish which I did not fulfil for him. When he left me for heaven, one of my regrets is not making effort to organise a surprise birthday party for him. I know that Bonny would not like me to live in regrets because he loved me very much and I suppose he still do for love never ceases.