Bonny and the President S R Nathan

The recent meeting with the President on Mar 26th 2011 at the Official Opening of DaySpring Residential Treatment Centre where I am working now reminded me of this picture of Bonny taken on 27 Nov 2007 with President S R Nathan. That handshake and the certificate he received then was a demonstration of God’s grace in his life during a difficult time of transition for him. I remembered his kept his beard as a sign of his struggle then. Besides that ceremony where he received the certificate of affirmation, the word of God had also brought much courage and comfort to him. Isa. 49:9 “to say to the captives, `Come out,' and to those in darkness, `Be free!' "was a word from the Lord for him while he was spending time with Him and he shared with me that it would be the mission verse for him during that season of his life—one that would keep him going. I adopted this verse in my present mission, living it out to let those the Lord has sent me to come out of captivity and be free from the darkness that they are in.

Remembering Bonny as His Earthly Birthday Approaches

Though I remember my beloeved Bonny daily as if he is around somewhere near, the 5th of every month is a day I set aside to specially remember him by writing on this blog. As his earthly birthday approaches, I tried to remember how I celebrated his first birthday as my husband on 19th March 1996. No matter how hard I tried to remember, I just could not remember. Then I found the first birthday card I gave him on that day.
Yes, indeed I have fully shared my "yesterdays, todays and tomorrows" with him while he was on earth with me. I take joy to know that he had enjoyed those "yesterdays, todays and tomorrows". Though my journey with him on this earth has ended, the eternal journey we shall share one day is timeless:-). He had been such a wonderful gift from God to me that even though we have parted, every remembrance of him has and will continue to bring love, joy, peace, faith, hope and strength to me. I don't get to buy a present for him and celebrate his earthly birthday from now on, but I believe everyday in heaven is like a birthday celebration, surely it must be much more exciting and happy over there than here. "Sure;y goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the hosue of the Lord forever." Psalm 23:6

A Year Has Gone By Since Bonny Left..., But The Colours, Music & Fragrance He Brought into My Life Remain…

A year has gone by so quickly since Bonny left his earthly home for his glorious eternal home, but the colours, music and fragrance he has brought into my life remain so very real and vivid, filling my every moment with sweetness, adding strength to my every step. The many expressions of my beloved Bonny are still very much alive and near in my heart...
Bonny has indeed added so much colours in my life--his cheerful smiles, his funny faces, his adorable cute actions, gestures and dances; so much music to my ears--his timely encouragements and advices, his funny authentic jokes, his spontaneous songs with his guitar, his self-invent Cantonese that made no sense and his random drum beats as he had jam session in church; so much fragrance in my heart--his love, compassion, kindness, generosity, simplicy, joy and hope.
He is a man with a simple and pure heart, a man filled with love and kindness, a man full of fun and humor, a man with a mighty warring intercessory spirit!
His legacy of love, fun, simplicity and intercession lives on in my and many others' lives. My heart is filled with thanksgiving to God for blessing me with Bonny eventhough it was a short 15 years. I praise God for the many blessings I have experienced just by knowing and living with him while he was here.
My beloved is and will always be fondly remembered as a man of child-like faith, joyful hope, and compassionate love, whose story of personal transformation and quiet confidence in the Lord Jesus is an inspiration to us all!
Someday I hope to meet him, someday I know not when, to see him, to hear him, to smell him and to clasp his hand in that better land, never to part again!
Indeed, "Death hold no bitterness for the soul that loves.... There is no sadness in the thought of death when it opens the door to all joy. Nor can it be painful and oppressive when it is the end of all unhappiness and sorrow and the beginning of all good"-John of the Cross-

Our so-called First "Date"

Bonny first expressed his desire to date me after Christmas in 1994 when we were travalling in a coach to the Baptist Golden Beach Campsite at Port Dickson for CPBC Church Camp.
One evening in the camp after dinner, he invited me to go for a walk by the beach. But not wanting to make it so obvious that he was inviting me to walk with him alone looking like a dating couple or perhaps he was afraid that I would reject him, he asked if I would come along with him as he brought Shanon Findley and Hannah De Laure for a walk along the beach. I agreed to that and we had our first so-called "date" with two lovely girls walking along Port Dickson beach as the sun set. Someone came along after the walk and took a picture of us four.
Bonny loved this picture and he had a couple of them, one placed in his wallet and the other in a small special old photo frame placed by his study desk.
I often imagine that there is a golden beach in heaven and one day I will walk with him again along a golden beach but there the Sun never set.
As I enter into a new year, 2011, with new challenges, new expereinces and discoveries without Bonny, I am blessed to have with me these sweet memories of the past with him.

Birthday Breakfast prepared by Bonny when I turned 45

Most of my birthdays celebrated with Bonny have been precious and wonderful. Though he is no longer on earth to celebrate my birthday today, I felt very loved with many blessings and wishes from loved ones--family and friends. As I read through my journal, I was surprised to find what I wrote in my journal on my 45th birthday (I think it was the only birthday I recorded in my journal): "My 45th birthday began with a wonderful, love-filled breakfast prepared by my beloved one & only one of his kind husband, Bonny-Wilfred Gilfillan Khalil.
It was a small steak, potato chips, sausage, ham, brocolli, carrot, tomato and cucumber. Also a side dish of 3 layers of love: minced beef, mashed potatoes and chopped carrot and water chestnut topped with scrambled egg white. The set came with a glass of apple juice. It was a wonderful breakfast filled with love, joy, peace and blessings from above."
He was so proud of his creative breakfast especially the side-dish that he insisted that a picture was taken of his set of "love-breakfast" for the queen and that the queen must take a picture with it too.
Yes, that was six year ago, but the memory and the love from this beloved husband of mine still lives in my heart.

Remembering My Beloved Bonny on our 15th Anniversary

Today marks the 15th Anniversary of my union with my beloved Bonny. Though we are apart, this is still a special day for me. I thank the Lord for these years of enriching and blessing my life with this special gift in the person of such a wonderful man.
A week ago, Bonny's mobile calendar gave out a notification alert which I believe he set up in 2004 with yearly notification set a week before Dec 16 of every year reminding him of our anniversary. The reminder reads "9th Anniversary, Botanic Garden, 0900-1200." Since we have our car in 2003, we had been going to Botanic Garden and had our breakfast at the cafeteria at the Visitors' Centre on our anniversary. This morning, despite a heavy traffic jam, I managed to make it there.
I ordered a western set, the one that Bonny always ordered, and enjoying my breakfasting remembering how he taught me to eat a western breakfast in an English-Scottish way (at least that was what he claimed as the proper way to eat English breakfast).
He would take his time to cut his toast, fried egg, bacon and sausage into bite-size and then stacked them up like a mini-sandwish with his fork and knife before putting them into his mouth with his fork and enjoyed chewing it with such gusto. Then he would repeat the whole procedure untill his plate is empty:-). He has taught me well. I finished everything on my plate and givethanks to God for blessing me with such rich expereince with such rich man.

Bonny's Boris knows how to cheer me up

It was a challenge for me to enter December without Bonny being around. The weather on the 30th Nov and the first few days of December did not help much as rainy days brought vivid memories of Bonny's warm smiles and hugs. After a day of sadness on Dec 1st, I woke up the next morning to see Boris started to eat properly and swim cheerfully. He kind of knew that I needed some cheering up and began to eat and swim after two months of sickness. This is one of the many reminders that I am so loved :-)

Though missing Bonny very much and can hardly believe that he has left for 10 months now, my soul takes courage, comfort and joy knowing he is enjoying the Lord's presence in the heavenly dwelling where every moment is Christmas. It is not a time for me to dwell on what I have not but to give thanks for what I have. It is a time for me to live out the legacy of love and generousity left behind by my beloved husband, the one and only Bonny.