Funeral message for my beloved husband, Bonny (Wilfred) Khalil, on 9th February 2010, 1.45 pm at Mandai Crematorium Hall 1.

With love by Kim Lang Khalil

My Khalil family, my Pang family and I really appreciate your presence with us this afternoon in sending off the blessed body of my beloved husband, Wilfred Gilfillan Khalil, also affectionately known by many as BONNY. When my dearest husband, Bonny, was alive, he had told me in many occasions and, I believe he had told some of you too, that he would like to conduct his own funeral service by making a video of himself. And if he were to go before me, I would play that video at his funeral service.

He did not manage to have that video done. So instead, I have decided to fulfil his wish by conducting his funeral service for him and by preaching his funeral message. Though Bonny had told me that he would make that video one day, he did not tell me the content of his sermon (I don’t think he had all the content worked out yet). However, he did tell me how he would introduce his sermon. He would begin his sermon this way:
“Hi everyone! Yes, it is me, Bonny or Wilfred (whichever name you know me as). You see that body lying there (in the casket)? That is my physical body which is now just a shell. Do you know where I am now? I am in heaven!”

Yes, Bonny is now in heaven, either he is resting in the embrace of the Lord or exploring that beautiful place where there are so many precious stones (the material love of his life), or busy catching up with those who have gone before him like his loved ones in the family, the late Alice Heng, Winnie Tan, Uncle Victor Choy, Mr Wee, Eric Lee, Robert Yeo of Helping Hand and many others. I know that Bonny meant a lot to many of you. I regret not extending the time last night at the wake for more of you to share your eulogies. If you do have one that you have prepared but did not have a chance to share, please feel free to share it with me later in person or simply write it down and email or simply pass it to me. I will not share my eulogy as it has been written and given out last night as my tribute to him. Thanks to Yoo Ngee, the sister who did the design of the bulletin. If you would like to get a copy of the bulletin, you may get it from her. That copy of the tribute is free of charge. If you don’t know why some of the people here are laughing now, it was because late husband spoke last night at his Farewell Service and we joked that CD with his voice was on sale for $25! It was a CD of his old sermon.

After last night’s service, one of my sisters-in-law said, “Wow, we didn’t know we had a superstar living among us!”
Yes, indeed the Lord has blessed us with a superstar—the superstar, Bonny Khalil! I can imagine as I say this, if he either has a guitar in his hands or he’s sitting behind the drum as he often did wherever he had a chance in our Language or Youth Hall, he will be making an applauding sound! If he does not have any instrument with him, he will be amen-ing to what I said, “Amen! Amen! Preach on my love, preach on, Kim Lang!”

I am not sure Bonny knew what a great legacy he left behind. From all the eulogies we heard for the past couple of nights, he has left behind…
... A legacy of joy in having a simple and pure heart...
... A legacy of love... that life is to be lived and that love is to be loved, every opportunity is an opportunity to love. Like one of the eulogies last night--he was like Jesus—always finding time to love and pray for people’!
... A legacy of fun and humour that brightened up, brought laughter and life to the people around him.
... A legacy of prayer—inspiring others to pray and being a mighty warring intercessor himself.

I am not going to share about his legacy. What I want to share with you is what happened in the past one week so that you may have some answers to the questions that you may have in regard to his return to his glorious home. So that we may find some comfort and closure to his apparently sudden departure. Most of you know that he had stopped work and intended to complete his theological studies since the end of September last year. Since January this year, he was attending school (TCA College) and had been working on his paper which was supposed to be due this very day, 09 February, 2010. He was working on the paper entitled ‘THE USE OF SIGNS IN THE GOSPEL OF JOHN’.

I quote from his unfinished paper: “The objective of this paper is to explore and explain why and how the author of the Fourth Gospel, namely John, used the signs that Jesus did in order to authenticate Jesus as the Son of God and that those who have faith in Jesus as the Son of God will have eternal life.” Though he did not finish his paper the way he or his lecturer had expected it to be, but I believe he has completed it and has made the due date. His life and his death had contributed to that truth that Jesus is the Son of God and that those who have faith in Jesus as the Son of God will have eternal life.

Let me share with you the last few days before he left us and entered into the glorious land:

Wednesday, 3th of February
Before he fell ill suddenly on Wednesday, 3th of February, He sent me an sms that morning at 10.51 am. He wrote in his last sms to me “Hi Kim Lang, I’m awake now and about to do my paper.” About an hour after that sms, I bought lunch home for him. When I returned, he told me that he could not eat much as his stomach was bloated and went to rest instead. To cut the long story short, he began to fall ill with severe pain in the stomach, fever and shortness in breath in the later part of the day. He refused to check into the A & E as he would be seeing his liver specialist, a senior consultant, the next morning.

Thursday, 4th of February
At about 6.30 am, he threw up some coffee-brown fluid. I brought him to hospital that morning. Subsequently, he was admitted on Thursday at noon. At that time, he was running a fever but blood pressure was normal. When his endoscopy failed due to his shortage of breath, he was placed in the High Dependency ward. I left him late that evening. His condition worsened after I left. At about 2.15 am in the early hours of Friday, due to low oxygen level in his body he was transferred from the High Dependency ward to ICU. I rushed back to hospital to be with him.

Friday, 5th of February
Family members and I were with him. At about 3 plus in the afternoon, I decided to fetch my mum home and to rest for a while since my brother and sister-in-law were with him and I would return at 6 pm to stay throughout the night. As I was forcing myself to rest at my mum’s home, it began to rain. There was lightning and thunder. I had a heavy heart. I asked the Lord, “Lord, you are not going to take him away, are you? Is Singapore crying because he is leaving us?” I refused to think in that direction but instead increased my intercession for healing. At about 4 plus, Richard, my brother-in-law, called me and asked me to return to the hospital as Bonny’s blood pressure had begun to drop steadily. I quickly got up and went to the restroom to change. As I was in the restroom, I felt a sharp pain in my heart, a deep sense of grief as if something was being torn from my heart. I began to bargain with the Lord, reminding Him that He was faithful and asking Him to keep my sweetheart alive-“If you won’t give him another 15 years, at least another year or another week or another day.” Looking back, I believe that was the moment Bonny’s spirit was saying “Goodbye” to me.

As I rushed through the traffic of Toa Payoh, the phone rang. With a trembling heart, I steadied my hands on the steeling wheel and answered. I heard Richard crying, telling me that Bonny had gone home to be with the Lord. I rushed into the ICU room at about 5.30pm. He had left me without waiting for me! I had a lot of questions but I accepted the truth that God does not make mistakes and He would give me answers sooner or later. Late in that night, actually more like early morning of Saturday (6 February), I spent time with the Lord, expressing my anger towards the incompetence of the hospital in treating my beloved.

The Lord ministered to me, and then He gave me a vision:
I saw Bonny lying on the hospital bed. Light rays were coming from the ceiling above and shining on him. With the light were silver sparkles and some silver stars flowing from above onto him. Then I saw his smiling face, with the same white hair above his forehead and the side, lifted from the top of his head towards the source of the light. His body following the head was a white shadow.

I asked the Lord to show me more, then:
I saw a river of gold, the water was not flowing but was thick like honey, golden in colour.
I thought it could be a river reflecting the glory of the Lord, but after I shared this on the first evening of the memorial service, someone suggested that it could be the street of gold in heaven that I saw. Be it river from the throne of God or street of gold, I knew for sure that it was heaven. God further revealed to me that He had shown a glimpse of Heaven to Bonny and said, “My son, it is time for you to come home. You can stay longer on earth if you want to, but it will be a battle with the illness and much suffering to you and family.”

The time for Bonny to leave this earth was God’s perfect timing. Bonny could have chosen to stay on but it would be a long battle of pain and suffering not only for him, but for me too. I believe Bonny chose to submit to the perfect timing of God. He did not give up on life but He give in to the perfect will of God.
I now know why he chose to go before I reached the hospital. It was because my voice and cry would have stopped him from leaving and he would have then been a disobedient child of God.
This was the answer to my question to God, “Why did You take him while I was on my way?” I am very proud of my late husband because he chose to submit and be obedient to God rather than to succumb to the selfishness of his wife.

Saturday, 6th of February
The next night, after a long day at Singapore Casket, I prepared myself to rest. The Lord comforted me again by reminding me of what Bonny had told me many times while he was on earth. I could clearly hear his voice that evening saying, “Kim Lang, I want you to know that if I am ever hooked to any machine that helps to sustain my life, I want you to turn the machine off as when it is time for me to go, let me go and don’t prolong my suffering.” I remembered walking into the hospital room that day and seeing him struggled with the restraints they were putting on him and the look of frustration he gave me. He hated being tied down. That reminder from the Lord comforted me and answered the question that I had…“Was Bonny ready to go?”

Sunday, 7th of February
Late on Sunday night, I had some difficulty sleeping and I asked the Lord why He chose that day to be the day of Bonny’s return to Heaven. As I pondered further, I put the date of his departure together 5-2-10 and the last digit was 520 (please do not buy 3 or 4 D with this number). That was the license plate of our first car and some nephews and nieces had told me in the past that in Chinese, it meant “I love you!” What a comfort to know that God loves me and it is not a mistake for Him to take my Bonny away. It is also comforting to know that God loves all of us who are grieving now and Bonny loved all of us too.

We are and will continue to feel the pain of missing him, especially me, my Khalil family and my Pang family. Things will never be the same again.
In my home:
· There will certainly be less laughter because he will not be there to make me laugh
· There will be no one to listen to my grumbles and woes
· I will not have that one-of-a-kind hug and embrace till I see him again in heaven
· I will not have the special someone to complain to, to scold, to nag, to hug and to love…
In my families:
· Family gatherings, Christmases, birthdays, outings and dinners will never be the same again without him
· No more funny jokes and actions
· No more child-like comments, naughty remarks and cheeky grins
In CPBC:
· In the main auditorium at the corner near the entrance, you won’t be greeted with that giant warm body and that handsome smile again
· No more big and friendly Wilfred walking around in the Guest lounge
· No more friendly big uncle playing pool at the youth lounge
· No more friendly greetings, hugs and waves at the driveway
In HighPoint:
· No more Ps Wilfred walking around asking for old wooden stuff from ‘karang guni’ collection, no more fish tanks
· No more big man carrying a red coca-cola can
· No more kung-fu actions
· No more stopping by to talk and chat and listen and make you laugh
In Choa Chu Kang neighbourhood:
· No more big friendly guy who greets anyone at the car park, walkway, lift and hawker centre
At Love Singapore Prayer Summits:
· That big friend guy will not be present at any more summits. He had never missed one since he attended the very first batch with the pioneers and it had been the annual highlights of his life since 1996.
At TCA College:
· Though he was not a permanent feature at the library (he could never stay still at one place), as some of you expressed to me, you would miss his light-hearted jokes and naughty remarks.

Many from Singapore, Belgium, Australia, United States, New Zealand, Switzerland, Canada, Germany, England, India, China, Malaysia who have sent me condolences will miss him. We will all miss him--his smiles, his jokes, his naughty remarks, his humour, his hugs, his encouragement, his prayers, his simplicity and above all, his love.

As Lai Kheng Pousson of Love Singapore Team rightly and beautifully puts it:
He will be fondly remembered as a man of child-like faith, joyful hope, and compassionate love, whose story of personal transformation and quiet confidence in the Lord is an inspiration to us all!

As painful as it is, I invite you to join me to release his soul and spirit into that glorious land, into the embrace of His heaven Father where he is resting and rejoicing.

As painful as it is, I invite you to join me:
· to release this wonderful big loving body that God has blessed him to bless us with to be cremated in a short while
· and to release his ashes to be scattered into the sea tomorrow morning.

As we release him, we can:
· keep the legacy of Bonny, Wilfred Gilfillan Khalil, in our hearts, on our lips that he may be cherished, honoured and remembered
· believe that the purpose of his last paper to authenticate Jesus as the Son of God, that all who believe in Him will have eternal life, be accomplished and fulfilled by his life here on earth.

Those who do not have faith and hope and believe in Jesus as the Son of God, I pray that you will consider doing so, so that one day you may be united with Bonny in heaven!