Birthday Breakfast prepared by Bonny when I turned 45

Most of my birthdays celebrated with Bonny have been precious and wonderful. Though he is no longer on earth to celebrate my birthday today, I felt very loved with many blessings and wishes from loved ones--family and friends. As I read through my journal, I was surprised to find what I wrote in my journal on my 45th birthday (I think it was the only birthday I recorded in my journal): "My 45th birthday began with a wonderful, love-filled breakfast prepared by my beloved one & only one of his kind husband, Bonny-Wilfred Gilfillan Khalil.
It was a small steak, potato chips, sausage, ham, brocolli, carrot, tomato and cucumber. Also a side dish of 3 layers of love: minced beef, mashed potatoes and chopped carrot and water chestnut topped with scrambled egg white. The set came with a glass of apple juice. It was a wonderful breakfast filled with love, joy, peace and blessings from above."
He was so proud of his creative breakfast especially the side-dish that he insisted that a picture was taken of his set of "love-breakfast" for the queen and that the queen must take a picture with it too.
Yes, that was six year ago, but the memory and the love from this beloved husband of mine still lives in my heart.

Remembering My Beloved Bonny on our 15th Anniversary

Today marks the 15th Anniversary of my union with my beloved Bonny. Though we are apart, this is still a special day for me. I thank the Lord for these years of enriching and blessing my life with this special gift in the person of such a wonderful man.
A week ago, Bonny's mobile calendar gave out a notification alert which I believe he set up in 2004 with yearly notification set a week before Dec 16 of every year reminding him of our anniversary. The reminder reads "9th Anniversary, Botanic Garden, 0900-1200." Since we have our car in 2003, we had been going to Botanic Garden and had our breakfast at the cafeteria at the Visitors' Centre on our anniversary. This morning, despite a heavy traffic jam, I managed to make it there.
I ordered a western set, the one that Bonny always ordered, and enjoying my breakfasting remembering how he taught me to eat a western breakfast in an English-Scottish way (at least that was what he claimed as the proper way to eat English breakfast).
He would take his time to cut his toast, fried egg, bacon and sausage into bite-size and then stacked them up like a mini-sandwish with his fork and knife before putting them into his mouth with his fork and enjoyed chewing it with such gusto. Then he would repeat the whole procedure untill his plate is empty:-). He has taught me well. I finished everything on my plate and givethanks to God for blessing me with such rich expereince with such rich man.

Bonny's Boris knows how to cheer me up

It was a challenge for me to enter December without Bonny being around. The weather on the 30th Nov and the first few days of December did not help much as rainy days brought vivid memories of Bonny's warm smiles and hugs. After a day of sadness on Dec 1st, I woke up the next morning to see Boris started to eat properly and swim cheerfully. He kind of knew that I needed some cheering up and began to eat and swim after two months of sickness. This is one of the many reminders that I am so loved :-)

Though missing Bonny very much and can hardly believe that he has left for 10 months now, my soul takes courage, comfort and joy knowing he is enjoying the Lord's presence in the heavenly dwelling where every moment is Christmas. It is not a time for me to dwell on what I have not but to give thanks for what I have. It is a time for me to live out the legacy of love and generousity left behind by my beloved husband, the one and only Bonny.

Bonny's Precious Flowerhorn Fish "BORIS" Is Sick

Bonny brought this flowerhorn fish (Luo Han) home more than two years ago when he was just about 4-5 inches long. He looked so ugly that Bonny named him "Boris" after the actor Boris Karloff who acted as the Frankenstein's monster. He has since grown to slightly more than 1 ft now. Since Bonny left for Heaven 9 months ago, I have been taking care of him with a couple other fishes. For the past three weeks, Boris has been sick attacked by parasitic organisms. It has been a couple of worrisome weeks for me seeing the once so active Boris to be so lethargic, not eating and at one stage even lying horizontally. Thanks to prayers for some saints and God-led adviser, he is doing better now but still not completely well.
Boris used to be very playful when he was well and I trust that he will be as playful and active again when he is completely well. Boris is precious to me not only because he was Bonny's pet, but his playful character reminds me of Bonny too. I must say that only that playful personality reminds me of Bonny and not his look though, Boris is far too "not-good-looking" to bear any resemblance of my gorgeous Bonny. If there is any resemblance, it is only the size---hugh and strong:-) I am glad that Heaven is not only a beautiful place, I am sure it is also a fun place where Bonny is having lots of fun too, fun that is much greater than what we experience here on earth. Can't wait to join him and Jesus in that heavenly fun and joy when my time on earth is done.

An Outline of One of Bonny's Sermons for Wake/Funeral Services

When Bonny was on earth, he conducted many wake and funeral services while serving as a pastor at Community of Praise Baptist Church. Last week I conducted a wake service for a church member using one of Bonny's scripts.
Here is one of Bonny's sermon outlines which I found in one of his notebooks. He knew there was a time for everything. Quoting Ecclesiastes 3:2 He said there was "a time to be born and a time ot die, a time to plant and a time to uproot." He also knew the certainty of death, Heb. 9:27, "Just as man is destined to die once,...." His certainty was reflected by a statement he often made in the wake/funeral services he conducted, "Death is no respector of any man or woman or child." To the question "What happens to us when we die?", he was very sure that the temporal bodies, the perishable will be clothed with the imperishable and the mortal with immortality 1 Cor 15:50-55.
It has been 8 months now since he has been clothed with the imperishable and is experiencing eternal joy and immortality. Though there is not time frame in Heaven, he is remembered every minute, every hour, every day, every week and month here on earth because he has left a tremendous legacy in my life. To God be the glory!

What I did that was an annoying behavior to Bonny?

More than ten years ago in the late 90’s, Bonny and I attended a marriage enrichment course called “His Needs, Her Needs.” Each of us had a workbook “5 Steps to Romantic Love” where we worked through overcoming love busters and learning to meet each other’s needs. Recently I came across Bonny’s workbook while I was tidying our library and had a good time reading through some of his answers and recalled the good times that we had. His sense of humor lingers on in my memory and what he wrote made me laugh just like when he was with me.
Referring to the annoying behavior I had toward him, he wrote, “Her annoying behavior toward me is when she tells me not to eat too much or not to eat fatty food.” In answering to the question as to why this has caused him unhappiness, he wrote, “when she shows her displeasure of my eating habits and I have to sneak behind her back to eat—a few times.” He added further that “it was because of her concern for my ulcerative colitis and I know that she is right but I still feel annoyed when she tells me.” On the frequency and intensity of my annoying behavior, he wrote, “It increased since the first year of marriage but now it has gotten lesser and better primarily because I am working with her on my eating habits.”
He was such a precious and wonderul man, a man full of humor and love, childlikeness and contentment. I am sure there is more laughters in heaven now that he is there. He does not need to control his eating habit too:-). Can't wait to see his smiling face again when my assignment here on earth is done.

Our Last Holiday Together: Royal Caribbean Isles of South East Asia Cruise, 30 Nov-4 Dec 2009

This is the picture taken on the ship "Legend of The Seas" on 1st Dec. 2009, 7.09 pm. It was a trip he was looking forward to. Sea was his favourite landscape. He used to travel a lot on sea when he was young while working as a radio operator in cargo ships. He had once told me that he might consider sailing again when he was old and didn't have a job. When I asked him what would I do if he had gone sailing, he just smiled.
When I scattered his ashes into the sea on the day of his burial, there was a strange sense of peace and joy then as I could feel that his spirit and soul was very pleased. As I watched the ashes dancing in the wind before landed into the sea, I sensed the freedom he felt. I knew then that he was smiling in heaven as his ashes went sailing. The sea is his burial ground and the sea now holds a new meaning to me.
6 months have passed since he left for heaven, I know that he is still smiling today because he knows God is taking care of me and He calls me His beloved.